Since we never get everything we want or need from our families, we look for sufficiency in surrogates.
This quote touches on a fundamental aspect of human nature and emotional development: our innate desire to find connection, validation, and fulfillment. It suggests that because our familial relationships often fall short of meeting all our emotional needs—whether due to distance, shortcomings, or imperfect bonds—we are compelled to seek alternative sources of comfort and sustenance. This pursuit of surrogates may take many forms, including friendships, romantic partnerships, community involvement, or even ideological affiliations. These surrogate relationships can play a vital role in shaping our identity, offering support when family ties are insufficient or strained. The idea resonates deeply with the understanding that human beings are inherently social creatures who require constant reinforcement of belonging and worth. While family provides a primary foundation, it is not always enough to satisfy the complex spectrum of our needs; thus, we may look elsewhere for comfort and affirmation. The concept also hints at the importance of understanding our emotional landscapes and consciously choosing healthy surrogate relationships that foster growth, stability, and happiness. This awareness can lead to a more fulfilled life, recognizing that seeking support outside our familial context is natural and, when balanced authentically, beneficial. However, it also prompts reflection on the potential risks involved—such as replacing or neglecting family bonds entirely or becoming overly dependent on surrogates. Navigating this dynamic thoughtfully can help us build a resilient, supportive emotional life that enriches us in multiple dimensions.
