Soldiers manage by dividing themselves. They're one man in the killing, another at home, and the man that dandles his bairn on his knee has nothing to do wi' the man who crushed his enemy's throat with his boot, so he tells himself, sometimes successfully.
The quote reflects the complex psychological state of soldiers who compartmentalize their lives to cope with the brutality of their actions in war. They separate their identities, creating distinct personas for their roles as soldiers and as individuals in their personal lives. This division allows them to navigate the stark contrast between the violence experienced during combat and the tenderness required in family life.
This internal conflict highlights the struggle many soldiers face in reconciling their horrific experiences with their civilian selves. By convincing themselves that these identities are separate, they try to maintain their humanity amidst the trauma, although this coping mechanism may not always be successful. The quote underscores the deep psychological scars left by war and the difficulty of integrating these divergent parts of one's life.