That kind of love comes and goes and is hard to remember afterwards, like pain. You would look at the man one day and you would think, I loved you, and the tense would be past, and you would be filled with a sense of wonder, because it was such an amazing and precarious and dumb thing to have done; and you would know too why your friends had been evasive about it, at the time. There is a good deal of comfort, now, in remembering this.
In this passage from Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale," the author reflects on a fleeting and complex kind of love. It's a love that, although deeply felt at one time, eventually fades into memory, much like pain does. This transition from love to nostalgia evokes a sense of wonder, as one acknowledges the intensity and unpredictability of those emotions. It highlights the ephemeral nature of relationships and the realization that love can slip away, leaving only memories behind.
The protagonist recalls moments of affection with a sense of surprise, understanding now what her friends might have felt during those times. They may have sensed the transient nature of this love and chose not to discuss it openly. The passage suggests that, with distance, there is comfort in recalling these experiences, even if they were accompanied by confusion and uncertainty. This reflection emphasizes the bittersweet nature of love and the lessons learned through time and introspection.