In "Engleby" by Sebastian Faulks, the protagonist reflects on a feeling of happiness that remains elusive, suggesting a distance between his experiences and true joy. He acknowledges that while he may not fully understand this longing, he does feel a semblance of it, which he describes as contentment or a sense of normalcy in his daily life. This recognition hints at an ongoing internal struggle between aspiration and reality.

This exploration highlights the complexity of human emotions, where routine and familiar comforts provide some stability, yet fail to fulfill deeper desires. Engleby's experience illustrates the subtle differences between fleeting happiness, contentment, and the longing for something more profound, emphasizing the nuances of personal satisfaction and the pursuit of meaning in life.