That was with me for years - feeling I wasn't myself. And I do think I wasn't my real self then. Of course, I'm not sure there is such a thing as a real self. You could ransack your innards looking for the real you and never find it - slice yourself open and all you'll find is blood and muscle and bone.
This quote delves into the profound labyrinth of human identity and the elusive nature of the 'self.' It resonates with the existential notion that our sense of being is perhaps more superficial than we like to admit. The speaker reflects on a period where they felt disconnected or inauthentic, suggesting that the core of selfhood might be intangible or even non-existent. The imagery of ransacking one's innards and uncovering only blood, muscle, and bone serves as a stark metaphor for the futility of searching for a true, immutable identity within our physical being. This perspective invites us to question whether there is a core self beneath the layers of personality, experience, and biology, or if selfhood is merely a construct—a fluid, shifting concept shaped by external circumstances and internal perceptions. This reflection challenges us to consider our own experiences of authenticity and self-awareness, recognizing the transient nature of identity and the possibility that our inner self might always remain just out of reach. Such mindfulness can foster a sense of acceptance towards the complexity of our inner lives, encouraging us to embrace the multiplicity of selves we harbor at different moments and contexts. Ultimately, this insight points toward a humility about our understanding of ourselves, emphasizing that the search for a definitive 'self' may be, in itself, an endless pursuit filled with ambiguity.