The Culture had a problem with the Affront. The Affront had a problem with the Culture, too, for that matter, but it was a pretty plain thing in comparison; the Affront's problem with the Culture was simply that the older civilisation stopped it doing all the things it wanted to do. The Culture's problem with the Affront was like an itch they couldn't scratch; the Culture's problem with the Affront was that the Affront existed at all and the Culture couldn't in all conscience do anything about it.
The Culture and the Affront had a strained relationship, with both civilizations harboring issues toward each other. The Affront's main concern was straightforward: they felt hindered by the Culture, which restricted their ambitions and desires. This conflict stems from the Culture's more advanced moral framework that clashed with the Affront's way of life.
In contrast, the Culture's dilemma with the Affront was more complex and distressing. The Culture saw the Affront's existence not merely as a conflict of interests but as a moral concern that left them feeling helpless. They were troubled by the idea that they couldn't intervene in how the Affront operated, leading to a deep-seated discomfort within the Culture regarding its own principles and limitations.