The loved object is simply one that has shared an experience at the same moment of time, narcissistically; and the desire to be near the beloved object is at first not due to the idea of possessing it, but simply to let the two experiences compare themselves, like reflections in different mirrors. All this may precede the first look, kiss, or touch; precede ambition, pride, or envy; precede the first declarations which mark the turning point-for from here love degenerates into habit, possession, and back to loneliness.
"The loved object is essentially one that has shared an experience with the individual at the same moment, driven by narcissism," explains Durrell. The initial desire to be near the beloved is not about possession but about comparing their experiences, much like reflections seen in different mirrors.
This connection often occurs before physical interactions such as a look, kiss, or touch, and even before feelings like pride, ambition, or envy. Over time, love can evolve into habit and a sense of possession, ultimately leading back to loneliness, as love's pure experience diminishes.
