The park described in Philip Pullman's "Two Crafty Criminals!" is portrayed as an unkempt area that reflects an uninviting atmosphere. It is depicted as muddy during the winter and dusty in the summer, which speaks to its neglected condition. A sparse arrangement of trees, a bandstand, and a pond contribute to its environment, but the overall impression is of a place lacking care and vibrancy.

Interestingly, the pond is home to a family of ducks characterized as depraved and malevolent. This choice of words suggests that even the park's wildlife contributes to its darker tone, hinting at an underlying sense of foreboding. The combination of this scruffy setting and the intimidating ducks sets the stage for a story involving mischief and cunning, typical of the adventures found within the book.