The narrator reflects on the complex relationship with her mother, which serves as the central focus of her journey. Despite her efforts to distance herself or understand her mother better, the mother remains an omnipresent figure, both tangible and elusive. The narrator struggles with feelings of heaviness caused by her mother's influence, suggesting a sense of entrapment or burden that is difficult to escape.

This deep-rooted bond with her mother invokes a blend of admiration and frustration, as the narrator recognizes the futility of trying to dissect or celebrate this relationship. It is clear that the pursuit to define, illuminate, or even detach from her mother is ultimately unyielding, leading to an ongoing cycle of introspection and emotional struggle that shapes the narrator's identity.