There was a time in my demented youthWhen somehow I suspected that the truthAbout survival after death was knownTo every human being: I aloneKnew nothing, and a great conspiracyOf books and people hid the truth from me.
The speaker reflects on a time in their youth when they felt isolated in their ignorance about the truth of survival after death. They believed that everyone else possessed this knowledge, creating a sense of alienation that led them to feel that a vast conspiracy was preventing them from accessing this vital information.
This feeling of exclusion and suspicion underscores a deep yearning for understanding and clarity amidst confusion. The sentiment conveys a powerful struggle between knowledge and ignorance, illustrating how the pursuit of truth can sometimes feel like a solitary endeavor against a backdrop of collective awareness.