We are brought up in the ethic that others, any others, all others, are be definition more interesting that ourselves; taught to be diffident, just this side of self-effacing ... Only the very young and the very old may recount their dreams at breakfast, dwell upon self, interrupt with memories of beach picnics and favorite Liberty lawn dresses and the rain trout in a creek near Colorado Springs. The rest of us are expected, rightly, to affect absorption in other people's favorite dresses, other people's trout.
Joan Didion's observations reveal a cultural norm that encourages individuals to prioritize others over themselves, fostering a sense of diffidence. This societal expectation leads many to shy away from sharing personal experiences, dreams, and memories, creating an environment where self-reflection and personal storytelling are often stifled. Only those at the extremes of age—children and the elderly—are perceived as allowed to indulge in such self-expression freely.
This dynamic emphasizes our tendency to focus on the lives and narratives of others, often to the detriment of our own voices and stories. Didion highlights a kind of disconnection from personal identity, as people learn to engage more with others’ interests and experiences rather than their own. Such an imbalance raises questions about authenticity and the value of individual narratives in a society that seems to prioritize collective over personal existence.
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All the things you can talk about in anyone's work are the things that are least important.
Race of Cain, ascend to heaven, And cast God down upon the earth!
