In "To Be Told," Dan B. Allender highlights the distinction between our true selves and the identities shaped by societal expectations, referred to as the "ought self." Many individuals envision themselves with unique values and aspirations, yet they frequently compromise these ideals to conform to external pressures. This disconnect can lead to dissatisfaction and a life that feels inauthentic.

Allender encourages readers to resist the urge to adopt an "ought self" that aligns with what others demand or anticipate. Instead, he advocates for embracing one's own narrative and pursuing an authentic life that reflects genuine beliefs and dreams. By doing so, individuals can align their actions with their true selves, crafting a more fulfilling future.