When you had hopes once,' Hadley explained after a pause, 'it's always hard to go on after you give them up. It's not so hard to give them up; that part is easy. After all, you've got to, sometimes. But afterward . . .' He gestured, grunting, '. . . What takes their place? Nothing. And the emptiness is frightening. It's so big. It sort of absorbs everything else; sometimes it's bigger than the whole world. It grows. It becomes bottomless.

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Hadley reflects on the painful experience of relinquishing hope, noting that while it may be easy to let go, the aftermath is far more challenging. The void left behind is not merely empty; it's a terrifying expanse that consumes everything around it, leaving one feeling lost and disoriented. The sense of emptiness can grow larger than life itself, transforming into an overwhelming presence that feels insurmountable.

This poignant realization by Hadley illustrates the deep emotional struggle faced when dreams and aspirations fade away. Rather than bringing solace, the absence of hope leads to a profound sense of loss, as individuals grapple with filling the chasm left behind. The haunting notion of an infinite emptiness serves as a reminder of how integral hope is to human existence, and the unsettling reality of its absence can leave one feeling adrift in a vast, meaningless space.

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January 24, 2025

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