Which is worse, past or future? Neither. I will fold up my mind like a leaf and drift on this stream over the brink. Which will be soon, and then the dark, and then be done with this ugliness...
In William Styron's "Lie Down in Darkness," the speaker grapples with the burdens of both the past and the future, suggesting that neither is inherently worse than the other. The imagery of folding the mind like a leaf evokes a sense of surrender and acceptance of life's inevitabilities. The speaker expresses a desire to let go and simply drift along the current of existence, indicating a profound weariness with life's struggles and pains.
The reference to drifting "over the brink" speaks to a longing for release from the chaos and "ugliness" of life. This passage reflects a poignant acknowledgment of existential despair, capturing the struggle between resignation and the hope for peace beyond suffering. Ultimately, Styron conveys the complex, often painful relationship humans have with their own timelines, as they confront the shadows of their memories and the uncertain path ahead.
