You believed you could transcend the body as you aged, she tells herself. You believed you could rise above it, to a serene, nonphysical realm. But it's only through ecstasy you can do that, and ecstasy is achieved through the body itself. Without the bone and sinew of wings, no flight. Without that ecstasy you can only be dragged further down by the body, into its machinery. Its rusting, creaking, vengeful, brute machinery.
In the reflection of aging, the character grapples with the illusion of transcending the physical body. She initially believed that as she grew older, she could emerge into a higher state of being, free from the limitations of the corporeal world. However, she comes to understand that true transcendence is not an escape from the body but an experience achieved through it, particularly through moments of ecstasy that involve physicality.
This realization emphasizes that without engaging fully with the body, one risks being pulled down by its inherent limitations and struggles. The imagery of the body as a "rusting, creaking, vengeful" machinery highlights the inevitable decline that comes with age. Ultimately, the concept of ecstasy becomes a vital connection to the essence of being alive, suggesting that fulfillment and liberation are found not in rejecting the body but in embracing its experiences.
