In this quote from "The Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood, the speaker reflects on their feelings of nostalgia and loss. They describe themselves as a "refugee from the past," emphasizing how they are trapped in memories and customs that they can no longer fully engage with. The imagery of being stranded in an unfamiliar time and place evokes a deep sense of yearning for what has been lost, as they find themselves obsessively revisiting those memories.
The speaker's experience is marked by a profound melancholy, as they express a distinction between weeping and crying. This suggests a more intense emotional response, a deep sorrow that permeates their being. They describe themselves as a sponge, absorbing the weight of their emotions while being physically present yet emotionally displaced. This poignant portrayal captures the struggle of reconciling with a past that feels simultaneously distant and deeply impactful.