In Denis Johnson's book "Already Dead," the protagonist grapples with profound emotional and existential struggles. The narrative suggests that the character's ongoing suffering is a form of self-protection, highlighting a paradox where pain serves as a barrier to true freedom. This implies a complex relationship between suffering and identity, indicating that the character may have become accustomed to their pain.
The quote, "You've never felt good. Your suffering protects you," encapsulates the idea that individuals sometimes cling to their struggles because they offer a false sense of security. The notion that "Pain is the ransom you have gladly paid not to be free" suggests that the character is aware of the cost of their suffering but remains trapped by it. This theme resonates throughout the narrative, emphasizing the difficulty of breaking free from the cycles of pain and the complexity of seeking genuine happiness.