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funny
funny - Bilingual quotes that celebrate the beauty of language, showcasing meaningful expressions in two unique perspectives.
Ken Kesey
In any given situation there will always be more dumb people than smart people. We ain't many!
Roald Dahl
There are many other little refinements too, Mr. Bohlen. You'll see them all when you study the plans carefully. For example, there's a trick that nearly every writer uses, of inserting at least one long, obscure word into each story. This makes the reader think that the man is very wise and clever. So I have the machine do the same thing. There'll be a whole stack of long words stored away just for this purpose.Where?In the 'word-memory' section, he said, epexegetically.
Roald Dahl
Don't gobblefunk around with words.
Stephen Clarke
If they wanted their shit stirred, then stirred their shit was jolly well going to be.
Dominique Frost
Okay. Oh-kay.Re-cap. He just had a man come in his mouth. He liked it. He may be embarking on anal sex, soon, if he was reading the subtext right.Options: stay or leave.Pros of staying: first experience with anal sex.Cons of staying: first experience with anal sex.No, no. That isn't right.Pros of staying: first experience with anal sex.Cons of staying: not being able to face Pete the next day. Maybe ever.The thing about sex, though, as Ryan is discovering, is that it's a goddamn persuasive motivator. It fucks with people's minds.
Tad Williams
I haven't met that many women, human or angelic, who actually like to drive. In my experience they seem to be much more pragmatic about the whole thing than we are. For most males, driving is an extension of their masculinity; they have little fantasy scenarios going all the time - races, chases, and dramatic combat with other drivers. Females, on the other hand, generally seem to view driving as something you do to get somewhere. I know, crazy.
Tad Williams
Whatever my ancestors did to you, none of them consulted me.
Alison Weir
His handsome face is suffused with rage. He stands before me shaking, then to my disgust, bursts into noisy tears; "I shall tell my mother of you!" he sobs and crashes out of the chamber
Nick Hornby
No one's stopping you," said Jess. "But you've got to make it more interesting. That's why why we drift off and talk about biscuits.
Jonathan Safran Foer
YOU WILL DRINK THE COFFEE UNTIL I CAN SEE MY FACE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE CUP! I did not mean to roar. But it's a clay cup. I DO NOT CARE! He finished the coffee. You did not have to finish it, I said, because I could perceive that he was rebuilding the Great Wall of China with shit bricks.
Christine Feehan
Are you ever going to kiss me without swearing first?
Katie McGarry
Twenty she curses you out by lunch, says Chris.Thirty she kills you by lunch, adds Logan.I'm getting her number.The two of them laugh.
Margaret Atwood
Would I laugh?Matter of fact, you would, says Zeb. Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking.
Sophie Kinsella
I mean, here we are in LA. The home of celebrities. They're the local natural phenomenon. Everyone knows you come to LA to see the celebrities, like you go to Sri Lanka to see the elephants.
Robyn Carr
Peyton, I'm not married and you're not a lesbian. Think of the possibilities.
Robyn Carr
Does still run fiction?I have absolutely no idea, Melinda, he said, grinning.
Robyn Carr
Isn't he cute? That he thinks he has a sense of humour?
Robyn Carr
I'll always be your friend, he said. Your best friend, if you let me. But I want to be your lover, too. He groaned and shifted in his chair. Soon. I want to be that soon. Then a look came over him. Oh Gina…I didn't even court you! God, I should date you first before I beg you to take off your clothes!
Robyn Carr
He'd never been shy, but he'd always been a little uncertain around girls. He just couldn't believe they liked him.
Robyn Carr
You dance?I think that might be overly optimistic, he said. I do something. I'll try not to hurt you.
Robyn Carr
A million possible endearments ran through his head. But he said, Help.
Robyn Carr
I mean, I don't want to pass judgment-I just wish my husband didn't shoot deer.Oh, Mel, don't worry. I've been hunting with your husband-the deer are completely safe.
Rick Riordan
The driver got out smiling. He looked about seventeen or eighteen, and for a second, I had the uneasy feeling it was Luke, my old enemy. This guy had the same sandy hair and outdoorsy good looks. But it wasn't Luke. His smile was brighter and more playful. {Luke didn't do much more than scowl and sneer these days.} The Maserati driver wore jeans and loafers and a sleeveless T-shirt.Wow Thalia muttered. Apollo Is hot.He's the sun god, I said.That's not what I meant.
Rick Riordan
You're probably wondering: why were Medusa's kids a golden warrior and a winged horse? And how had they been stuck in Medusa's body all those years?Heck, I dunno. I'm just telling you how it was. You want stuff to make sense, you're in the wrong universe
Rick Riordan
Anyway... she knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a horse who knows a goat who knows another horse
Rick Riordan
Travis: I didn't know they made permanent makeup. I looked like a clown for a month.Connor: Yeah. They put a curse on me so that no matter what I wore, my clothes were two sizes too small and I felt like a geek.Travis: You are a geek.
Rick Riordan
I wondered if I should start a small fire in Percy Jackson's sink, perhaps burn some bandages in thanks, but I decided that might strain that Jackson's hospitality.
Rick Riordan
Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. I have to go.You just got here.Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress.You're making that up.I'm not.So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis?
Rick Riordan
Jason hated being an old man.
Rick Riordan
What's the best part of being in Hermes cabin?Connor: You are never lonely. I mean seriously, new kids are always coming in. So you always have someone to talk to.Travis: Or prank.Connor: Or pickpocket. One big happy family.
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Popular quotes
Taffy. He thinks about taffy. He thinks it would take his teeth out now, but he would eat it anyhow, if it meant eating it with her.
by Mitch Albom
All our human endeavours are like that, she reflected, and it is only because we are too ignorant to realize it, or are too forgetful to remember it, that we have the confidence to build something that is meant to last.
by Alexander McCall Smith
In fact, none of us knows how he ever managed to get his LLB in the first place. Maybe they're putting law degrees in cornflakes boxes these days.
by Alexander McCall Smith
The value of money is subjective, depending on age. At the age of one, one multiplies the actual sum by 145,000, making one pound seem like 145,000 pounds to a one-year-old. At seven – Bertie's age – the multiplier is 24, so that five pounds seems like 120 pounds. At the age of twenty four, five pounds is five pounds; at forty five it is divided by 5, so that it seems like one pound and one pound seems like twenty pence. {All figures courtesy of Scottish Government Advice Leaflet: Handling your Money.}
by Alexander McCall Smith
Look, if you say that science will eventually prove there is no God, on that I must differ. No matter how small they take it back, to a tadpole, to an atom, there is always something they can't explain, something that created it all at the end of the search. And no matter how far they try to go the other way – to extend life, play around with the genes, clone this, clone that, live to one hundred and fifty – at some point, life is over. And then what happens? When the life comes to an end? I shrugged. You see? He leaned back. He smiled. When you come to the end, that's where God begins.
by Mitch Albom
Small towns are like metronomes; with the slightest flick, the beat changes.
by Mitch Albom
You say you should have died instead of me. But during my time on earth, people died instead of me, too. It happens every day. When lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. When your colleague falls ill and you do not. We think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of a whole.
by Mitch Albom
we get so many lives between birth and death. A life to be a child. A life to come of age. A life to wander, to settle, to fall in love, to parent, to test our promise, to realize our mortality-and, in some lucky cases, to do something after that realization.
by Mitch Albom
Where there's bluster, thinks Luisa, there's duplicity
by David Mitchell
I have the tendency to be nervous at the sight of trouble looming. As the danger draws near, I become less nervous. When the peril is at hand, I swell with fierceness. As I grapple with my assailant, I am without fear and fight to the finish with little thought of injury.
by Jean Sasson
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