That often seemed the only way to avoid many of our painful feelings, such as...

That often seemed the only way to avoid many of our painful feelings, such as anger, fear and hurt. It also gave us the illusion of being in control. But what seemed to work then doesn't always work well now. A 40-year-old patient of mine told me that he always said "yes" to requests at work, and doing that was causing him a lot of suffering. By working on himself for two years in group therapy and by taking a course on assertiveness, he has learned to say "no," and to let others do what he cannot do or does not want to do. He is discovering his True Self, his Child Within.

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