The Red Lion was a four-ale bar with a handful of lowbrowed sons of toil who looked as though they might be related to one another in ways frowned on by the Old Testament.
Some are born mediocre, others become mediocre, and others are required.
Yossarian was committing his traditional rights of freedom and independence with the boldness of exercising them.
Buildings and shapes without contour were flying near him without noise, worn implacably on the surface of a strong, timeless wave.
Black glasses had big, red frames. The false black mustache belonged to a multicolored flattener and Major Major wore both of a basketball match in a day, when he felt he could no longer bear his...
In short, he was a dope. He often looked to Yossarian like one of those people hanging around modern museums with both eyes together on one side of a face. It was an illusion, of course, generated by...
What could you do? Major Major asked himself again. What could you do with a man who looked you squarely in the eye and said he would rather die than be killed in combat
It isn't even good grammar. What the hell does it mean when they disappear somebody?
Inscribed on the back was a line from Virgil in Latin: Audentes fortuna juvat. Fortune favors the bold. He'd been bold all right, but Fortune hadn't gotten the memo.
Just for once, I'd like to see these things straightened out somehow, so that everyone gets exactly what they deserve. It would restore my faith in this universe.
He glanced at me, then chuckled. Sprezzatura's an Italian word. Means the art of making something difficult look easy.
Why," swore Yossarian at him approvingly, "you evil-eyed, mechanicallyaptituded, disaffiliated son of a bitch, did you walk around with anything in your cheeks?
Read me back the last line. 'Read me back the last line,' read back the corporal who could take shorthand. Not my last line, stupid! the colonel shouted. Somebody else's. 'Read me back the last line,'...
Men," Colonel Cargill began in Yossarian's squadron, measuring his pauses carefully. "You're American officers. The officers of no other army in the world can make that statement. Think about it.
Steal Captain Black's car, said Yossarian. That's what I always do. We can't steal anybody's car. Since you began stealing the nearest car every time you wanted one, nobody leaves the ignition on.
Why are they going to disappear him? I don't know. It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar. What the hell does it mean when they disappear somebody?
He felt imprisoned in an airplane. In an airplane there was absolutely no place in the world to go except to another part of the airplane. Doc Daneeka had been told that people who enjoyed climbing...
Yossarian wrinkled his forehead with quizzical amusement. You won't marry me because I'm crazy, and you say I'm crazy because I want to marry you? Is that right?
He could not make them understand that he was a crotchety old fogey of twenty-eight, that he belonged to another generation, another era, another world, that having a good time bored him and was not...
Havermeyer was a lead bombardier who never missed. Yossarian was a lead bombardier who had been demoted because he no longer gave a damn whether he missed or not. He had decided to live forever or die...
the full fury of his storming countenance with its rugged overhang of gullied forehead and huge crag of a humpbacked nose that came charging out of his face wrathfully like a Big Ten fullback.
Now, where were we? Read me back the last line.''Read me back the last line,' read back the corporal who could take shorthand.'Not my last line, stupid!' the colonel shouted. 'Somebody else's.''Read...
You just came out of the hospital ten days ago," Milo reminded him reprovingly. "You can't keep running into the hospital every time something happens you don't like. No, the best thing to do is fly...
The rain was pattering hypnotically on the plane's exterior.
In a way the C.I.D. man was pretty lucky, because outside the hospital the war was still going on.Men went mad and were rewarded with medals. All over the world, boys on every side of the bomb line...
Would you like to see your country lose?' Major Major asked. 'We won't lose. We've got more men, more money and more material. There are ten million men in uniform who could replace me. Some people...
Yossarian quickened his pace to get away, almost ran. The night was filled with horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a...
I have some decades to spare. Do you know how long a year takes when it's going away?
His goading remained gentle. Rome was destroyed, Greece was destroyed, Persia was destroyed, Spain was destroyed. All great countries are destroyed. Why not yours? How much longer do you really think...
Through the lavender gloom clouding the entrance of the operations tent, Yossarian glimpsed Chief White Halfoat, diligently embezzling whiskey rations, forging the signatures of nondrinkers and...
Yossarian makes any attempts to excuse himself from the perilous missions then he is caught in Catch-22: if he flies he is crazy, and doesn't have to; but if he doesn't want to he must be sane and has...
All right, I'll dance with you, she said, before Yossarian could even speak. But I won't let you sleep with me. Who asked you? Yossarian asked her. You don't want to sleep with me? she exclaimed with...
He felt awkward because she was going to murder him.
The Red Lion was a four-ale bar with a handful of lowbrowed sons of toil who looked as though they...
He wondered often how he would ever recognize the first chill, flush, twinge, ache, belch, sneeze,...
There were billions of conscientious body cells oxidating away day and night like dumb animals at...
What could you do? Major Major asked himself again. What could you do with a man who looked you...
It's only that I feel an injustice has been committed. Why should I have somebody else's malaria and...
Keep in mind that when we talk of a great painting we are not really talking about anything great....
He was determined to live forever or die trying, and for him the only purpose of the deployment was...
Steal Captain Black's car, said Yossarian. That's what I always do. We can't steal anybody's car....