In her book "Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture," Roxane Gay reflects on the internal struggles women face when questioning their feelings in challenging situations. She acknowledges the societal pressures that lead women to doubt their reactions, fearing they might be perceived as overreacting or being too emotional. This self-doubt is a result of a long history where women are often labeled as irrational or melodramatic for expressing their true feelings.

Gay highlights how societal conditioning begins early in a girl's life, teaching them to be non-confrontational and to prioritize harmony over their own needs. This upbringing fosters a sense of fragility and compliance, discouraging women from voicing their concerns and experiences. The message is clear: women are trained to be accommodating and to silence their discomfort, leading to a perpetual struggle with self-identity and empowerment.