I still carry the weight of being a rape survivor, and of the demand that I forgive and forget to uphold the myth of the perfect black family. I carry the weight handed to me by the Black moral majority, who ignored my father's crimes and who knows how many other men's, who tried to buy off a terrified thirteen year old with a one-day trip to an amusement park. They were so desperate to project the image of the respectable, righteous, picture-perfect Black family to the world that they were willing to let women and girls in the picture suffer.
In her work "Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture," Roxane Gay expresses the complex burdens she bears as a rape survivor. She highlights the societal pressure to forgive and forget, which is often imposed on victims to uphold the idealized image of a perfect Black family. This expectation forces survivors to shoulder their trauma silently, without acknowledgment of the injustices they faced.
Gay reflects on the complicity of the Black moral majority, who turned a blind eye to her father's abusive actions in favor of maintaining a facade of respectability. The actions taken to cover up such crimes and protect family honor come at a significant cost, especially for women and girls who endure the pain and suffering beneath the surface of this constructed narrative.