Buying into the notion of not that bad made me incredibly hard on myself for not "getting over it" fast enough as the years passed and I was still carrying so much hurt, so many memories. Buying into this notion made me numb to bad experiences that weren't as bad as the worst stories I heard. For years, I fostered wildly unrealistic expectations of the kinds of experiences worthy of suffering until very little was worthy of suffering. The surfaces of my empathy became calloused.
The author reflects on the damaging effect of societal pressures that diminish one's personal experiences of trauma. Believing that one's pain should not be significant compared to worse stories led to a harsh self-judgment for not moving on quickly from past hurts. This mindset fostered a numbness toward one's own suffering, creating unrealistic standards for what should merit grieving.
The long-term impact was a suppression of empathy, leading to a calloused response to both personal and others' pain. Over time, this warped perception stifled the validation of feelings, revealing how cultural narratives can undermine individual experiences and emotional well-being.
