Four Horsemen: defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, and contempt. Even within the Four Horsemen, in fact, there is one emotion that he considers the most important of all: contempt. If Gottman observes one or both partners in a marriage showing contempt toward the other, he considers it the single most important sign that the marriage is in trouble.
The Four Horsemen are destructive behaviors in relationships identified by Gottman: defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, and contempt. Among these, contempt stands out as the most detrimental. It signifies a deep-seated disdain for one's partner, which can erode the foundation of a marriage.
Gottman emphasizes that the presence of contempt is a critical indicator that a relationship is facing serious challenges. When one or both partners express contempt, it signals significant emotional disconnect and hostility, ultimately threatening the stability and health of the marriage.
