He regretted his surliness when she had refused. She was the only person he'd met in his adult life who had any understanding of his past, the only woman he wanted to remain connected to. He didn't want to leave it up to chance to find her again, didn't want to share her with another man. That last day in Volterra he had searched for a way to tell her these things. She had not accused him, as Franca had, of his own cowardice, of his inability to form attachments. But Hema's refusal to accuse him made him feel worse, and without her he was lost.
In Jhumpa Lahiri's "Unaccustomed Earth," the main character reflects on his regret over his surly behavior when a woman named Hema turned him down. He realizes that Hema is unique among the people he has known, as she comprehends his past and his struggles. This understanding makes her the only woman he feels truly connected to, intensifying his desire to maintain an ongoing relationship with her. He fears the randomness of life might separate them and the thought of Hema being with another man adds to his anguish.
On his last day in Volterra, he desperately seeks a way to express his feelings to her. Unlike Franca, who bluntly criticized his emotional shortcomings, Hema's gentle refusal to blame him only deepens his sense of loss. He recognizes that without her presence in his life, he feels aimless and disconnected, emphasizing the emotional weight of the bond he wishes to preserve. His internal struggle reveals his longing for intimacy and the fear of losing one of the few people who truly understands him.
