Hugo has been infinitely tender with me, but while he talks of June I think of our hands locked together. She does not reach the same sexual center of my being that man reaches; she does not touch that. What, then, has she moved in me? I have wanted to possess her as if I were a man, but I have also wanted her to love me with the eyes, the hands, the senses that only women have. It is a soft and subtle penetration.
In Anaïs Nin's "Henry and June," she reflects on her complex feelings towards both Hugo and June. While Hugo provides her with tenderness, her thoughts often drift to the physical connection she shares with him. In contrast, her relationship with June evokes a different desire, revealing the differing aspects of intimacy that men and women can offer. She grapples with her yearning for a deeper connection with June that transcends physicality.
Nin expresses a longing to possess June with the same intensity as she does Hugo, but she's also drawn to the unique form of affection that only women can provide. This emotional and sensual longing suggests a nuanced understanding of love and desire, emphasizing that her bond with June is marked by a subtle intimacy that goes beyond traditional sexual fulfillment. This exploration captures the essence of her journey in navigating her feelings for both genders.
