In this excerpt from "Tropic of Cancer" by Henry Miller, the speaker expresses a deep desire for personal freedom and solitude. He feels overwhelmed by the expectations and social interactions of others, craving time alone to confront his own feelings of shame and despair. The speaker rejects the intrusion of curious onlookers and feels that their compliments are not genuine, instead finding solace in his own thoughts and the environment around him.
He asserts his independence, claiming that he owes nothing to anyone and only seeks accountability to a higher power, questioning even the existence of God. This powerful declaration of self-reliance reveals the tension between the speaker's yearning for community and his fundamental need for solitude as he navigates the complexities of his emotions and identity.