When I realize that she is gone, perhaps gone forever, a great void opens up and I feel that I am falling, falling, falling into deep, black space. And this is worse than tears, deeper than regret or pain or sorrow, it is the abyss into which Satan was plunged. There is no climbing back, no ray of light, no sound of human voice or human touch of hand.
In the passage from Henry Miller's "Tropic of Cancer," the narrator confronts the profound emptiness felt after losing a loved one. The realization of her absence creates a metaphorical void that overwhelms him, akin to a descent into an unfathomable darkness. This experience transcends mere sadness; it evokes a depth of despair that is comparable to the torment associated with the devil's own fall.
The narrator describes this emotional state as one devoid of hope, light, or human connection. The feelings experienced are so intense that they seem to trap him in an inescapable space of isolation. This sense of losing someone vital leads to a haunting struggle against an abyss, symbolizing the permanent nature of loss and the fear of being forever disconnected from meaningful relationships.
