I'd learned from my mother that when someone gives you a subjective compliment - meaning one that can't be disproven and is based on opinion - but that you find to be completely false, rather than argue, it's much better to just say thank you, or I appreciate that and strive to be that compliment. Fools fight compliments, she'd said, and sometimes other people see you better than you can see yourself.

I'd learned from my mother that when someone gives you a subjective compliment - meaning one that can't be disproven and is based on opinion - but that you find to be completely false, rather than argue, it's much better to just say thank you, or I appreciate that and strive to be that compliment. Fools fight compliments, she'd said, and sometimes other people see you better than you can see yourself.

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[This quote highlights an important lesson in humility and self-awareness. It speaks to the power of accepting compliments graciously, even when we feel they don't reflect our true selves. Often, people offer praise based on their perceptions, which might be influenced by their emotions, biases, or limited understanding of us. Challenging such subjective opinions can lead to unnecessary conflict or diminish the positive environment that compliments aim to foster. Instead, acknowledging compliments with gratitude not only demonstrates humility but can also serve as a catalyst for personal growth. By accepting praise graciously, we open ourselves to perspectives that might reveal strengths we hadn't fully appreciated within ourselves. Additionally, the quote emphasizes the idea that others often see qualities in us that we might overlook or underestimate. It suggests a level of trust in the perceptions of others and encourages us to accept their viewpoints without defensiveness. This attitude can build better relationships and foster mutual respect. Moreover, the advice to respond with gracefully received compliments complements the broader theme of emotional intelligence. It is a gentle reminder that sometimes, the best response is to acknowledge and appreciate insights from others, even if they contradict our internal perceptions. In doing so, we accept the complementary remarks as a reflection of their view, not necessarily a validation of who we are entirely, but rather an expression of how they see us. Cultivating this approach can lead to greater self-acceptance and a more harmonious engagement with those around us, allowing us to receive kindness and validation without diminishing our self-trust or integrity.

(Addressed to Penny Reid's '(Attraction)')

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June 28, 2025

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