The feeling of being elected is present, for example, in any romantic relationship. Because love, by definition, is an unprecedented gift; To be loved without merit is even proof of a real love. If a woman says to me: I love you because you are intelligent, because you are honest, because you buy me gifts, because you do not flirt, because you make the Vaiselle, I am disappointed; This love looks like something interested. How much it is more beautiful to hear: I am crazy about yourself although you are neither intelligent nor honest, although you are a liar, selfish, bastard. {Chapter 15}
In Milan Kundera's exploration of love, he draws a parallel between the feeling of being cherished and the experience of being elected. He emphasizes that true love is akin to receiving an unprecedented gift, where affection is given without conditions or expectations. When a partner lists attributes that justify their love, such as intelligence or kindness, it feels transactional rather than genuine.
Kundera relishes the notion of love that exists independently of merit. He suggests that a declaration of love that acknowledges flaws—claiming to love someone despite their shortcomings—reveals a deeper, more profound connection. This type of love is celebrated for its authenticity, showcasing a willingness to embrace a partner wholly, which transcends superficial criteria.
