The narrator reflects on a state of mind characterized by a profound emptiness, which he associates with compliance to his parents' wishes. This blankness signifies a lack of independent thought or desire, as he instinctively understands that his parents expect him to remain unchanged. Their desire for him to stay the same creates a quiet pressure that shapes his behavior.
This introspection highlights the complexities of familial expectations and the internal struggle between personal identity and external demands. The narrator seems to grapple with the notion of fulfilling his parents' desires at the cost of his own development, revealing how deeply parental influence can shape one's sense of self.