Shame is a difficult thing. People certainly try to shame me for being fat. When I am walking down the street, men lean out of their car windows and shout vulgar things at me about my body, how they see it, and how it upsets them that I am not catering to their gaze and their preferences and desires. I try not to take these men seriously because what they are really saying is, 'I am not attracted to you. I do not want to fuck you, and this confuses my understanding of my masculinity, entitlement, and place in this world'. It is not my job to please them with my body.
Roxane Gay's reflections on shame illustrate the struggles she encounters due to societal perceptions of body image. She experiences street harassment from men who express their dissatisfaction with her body, attempting to impose their preferences on her. Such encounters showcase the disconnect between their desires and her personal autonomy, revealing how their comments are rooted in their insecurities regarding masculinity and entitlement.
Gay emphasizes that it is not her responsibility to conform to others' expectations regarding her appearance. Instead of internalizing their shameful remarks, she recognizes that their discomfort stems from their inability to navigate a world where not everyone fits their ideals. Thus, she asserts her right to exist as she is, free from the obligation to please others through her body.
