She wants to have her notebooks so that the flimsy framework of events, as she has constructed them in her school notebook, will be provided with walls and become a house she can live in. Because if the tottering structure of her memories collapses like a clumsily pitched tent, all that Tamina will be left with is the present, that invisible point, that nothingness moving slowly toward death.
Tamina seeks to keep her notebooks as a way to solidify her fragmented memories. By doing so, she hopes to transform her chaotic experiences, recorded in her school notebooks, into a stable and livable space. This desire reflects her need for a sense of security and continuity in her life, as the memories provide a structure to her identity.
If these memories were to disintegrate, Tamina fears she would only be left with the emptiness of the present moment, which feels like a void heading inevitably toward death. Her notebooks represent not just a connection to the past but also a means of making sense of her existence and confronting the transient nature of life.