In Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness," the protagonist grapples with the complexities of existence in a world filled with incomprehensible and often detestable circumstances. The narrative reflects on the struggle of living in an environment that is both repulsive and intriguing, creating a powerful tension within the character.

This fascination with the darker aspects of life leads to deep emotional turmoil, marked by regrets and a desire for escape. The character experiences conflicting feelings of disgust and surrender, as well as an underlying sense of hatred. This blend of emotions highlights the complex human response to the abhorrent aspects of existence and the challenges of confronting such mysteries.