When I was fifteen, I felt it coming; now I was sixteen, and it hit. My feet had imperceptibly been set on a new path...there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it, or about anything. I was going to hell on a handcart, that was all, and I knew it and everyone around me knew it, and there it was.
In the passage, the author reflects on a significant shift in her life as she transitions from childhood to adolescence. At fifteen, she sensed an impending change, and by sixteen, it became evident that her life was heading in a troubling direction. This feeling of inevitability surrounding her circumstances creates a sense of helplessness, as she feels that her fate is out of her control.
Dillard expresses a poignant realization that both she and those around her are aware of the decline she is experiencing. The metaphor of "going to hell on a handcart" vividly illustrates her perception of life's challenges and the struggle to navigate through them. This moment captures the essence of growing up, where personal awareness clashes with external expectations and the harsh realities of life.
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