In the passage, the author reflects on a significant shift in her life as she transitions from childhood to adolescence. At fifteen, she sensed an impending change, and by sixteen, it became evident that her life was heading in a troubling direction. This feeling of inevitability surrounding her circumstances creates a sense of helplessness, as she feels that her fate is out of her control.

Dillard expresses a poignant realization that both she and those around her are aware of the decline she is experiencing. The metaphor of "going to hell on a handcart" vividly illustrates her perception of life's challenges and the struggle to navigate through them. This moment captures the essence of growing up, where personal awareness clashes with external expectations and the harsh realities of life.