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humor
humor - Bilingual quotes that celebrate the beauty of language, showcasing meaningful expressions in two unique perspectives.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
A demigod? I repeated like I'd just learned to speak a few seconds ago. A real, live demigod?Opposed to a fake, dead one? He chuckled, proud of himself, and then sighed when my eyes narrowed on him. You used to have a sense of humor, Seth.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
-Do you ... Wash a dish? -So slowly backed away, blinking. He looked at Daemon. The world is going to end. And I'm still a vir ... -No! The brothers shouted in unison. Daemon seemed that he was actually going to vomit. -Jesus, you never finish that prayer. Actually, never change that. Thank you. Her mouth opened. -You expect me to never have ... -It is not a conversation with which I want to start my day. - Dawson grabbed his backpack from the kitchen table. I'm leaving school before this becomes even more detailed.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
I rolled my eyes, finishing off the burger. Rummaging around in the bag, I pulled out an extra-large order of fries. With all the exercise I was getting, my escape would involve me rolling out of here.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Nick stopped at the door. The grin on his face warned trouble. "By the way, loved the bows on your panties."Oh, for fuck's sake.Reece's jaw became so hard I thought it would snap off as he watched Nick saunter out the door.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
I really don't think that was a good idea,'' Archer said, appearing in the open archway. ''To go sightseeing when you have half the government gunning for your ass.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
The whole telling part seemed a moot point now, but how could he explain what happened? Hey, honey, I'm an alien and apparently I just doused you with some radioactive loving! Wanna catch a movie? Yeah, not cool.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Cool. I'm quiet, too. I arched a brow. He laughed. Okay. I'm not quiet. I'm sure if you Wikipedia'd my ass, I would show up as the opposite of quiet. But that's okay. You and I would get along like lime and tequila. You can make up for my nonstop talkin' and I can make up for your lack of talkin'. He nudged my arm with his. We're a perfect team! The smile returned to my face. I didn't really know him but I liked him.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Nancy was so thrilled, I thought she was going to kiss me-and I thought I was actually going to have to hit a chick.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
How did you know I was different? You mean besides the obvious obsidian, the alien entourage, and the branch? He laughed. You're full of electricity. See? He reached between the seats and placed his hand over mine. Static crackled, jolting us both. Daemon grabbed Blake's hand and threw it back at him. I do not like you.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Actually, I was prone to random acts of stupidity. I considered it to be one of my talents.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Throwing a sub at the Apollyon probably wasn't something that should be done in public. But I couldn't help it; I laughed.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
but then again, theywere like baby Einsteins on crack.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Hell, we my end up killing each other over something stupid next week. It's a possibility. But all I do know is what I feel for you isn't going anywhere.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
I shot him a look. That bouncer was really big.His lips quirked. Oh, Kitten, see, I try not to say bad things.What?The grin spread. I would say size doesn't matter but it does. I would know. he winked, and I let out a disgusted groan. He laughed.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
I think that's possibly the nicest thing you have said to me. Ever.I laughed. No it's not. I've said nice things to you before.Like what?There had to be another situation when I'd said something nice. Like... when... I couldn't think of anything. Jeez, I was a bitch. Okay. That is the first nice thing I've said to you.I think I need a moment to recognize and cherish this.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Oh! What thing? A thing with Daemon, and if you say yes, please tell me that thing starts with an s and ends with an x." I opened my eyes and frowned. "Geez, you're worse than a dude.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
He can read your mind without even knowing. Dee's face went from pale to bright cherry. Oh God.What?She smacked her hands over her face. Well, the whole time we were downstairs, I was picturing him naked.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Because this absolutely insane - the craziest thing I'd ever done. Worse than giving a one-star review, scarier than asking for an interview with an author I'd give my firstborn to eat lunch with, more stupid than kissing Daemon.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Me and Katy look adorkable in extraterrestrialhighway shirts. You would just look stupid. You can thank me later.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
A few seconds after he stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind him, there was a fleshly smack and then Andrew yelling, Ouch. What in the hell was that for? Your timing sucks on an epic level, Daemon shot back.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Oh, dear God and baby Jesus in the manger, my eyes!" Dee shrieked. "My eyes!
Anthony Burgess
But if you eat this chap who's God,' said Llewelyn stoutly, 'how can it be horrible? If it's alright to eat God why is it horrible to eat Jim Whittle?' 'Because,' said Dymphna reasonably, ' if you eat God there's always plenty left. You can't eat God up because God just goes on and on and on and God can't ever be finished...
Nora Ephron
{S}ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn't cross your mind until it's too late. {Once, for example, when I was just starting out in the food business, I was hired by the caper people to develop a lot of recipes using capers, and it was weeks of tossing capers into just about everything but milkshakes before I came to terms with the fact that nobody really likes capers no matter what you do with them. Some people to like capers, but the truth is that any dish that tastes good with capers in it tastes even better with capers not in in.
Nora Ephron
Every so often I would look at my women friends who were happily married and didn't cook, and I would always find myself wondering how they did it. Would anyone love me if I couldn't cook? I always thought cooking was part of the package: Step right up, it's Rachel Samstat, she's bright, she's funny and she can cook!
Shonda Rhimes
You know what happens on live TV?Janet Jackson's Super Bowl Boob happens on live TV. Adele Dazeem happens on live TV. President Al Gore happens on live TV
Douglas Adams
He's spending a year dead for tax reasons.
Patrick O'Brian
Puddings, my dear sir?' cried Graham.Puddings. We trice 'em athwart the starboard gumbrils, when sailing by and large.
Patrick O'Brian
...looking angrily at the wombat: and a moment later, 'Come now, Stephen, this is coming it pretty high: your brute is eating my hat.' 'So he is, too,' said Dr. Maturin. 'But do not be perturbed, Jack; it will do him no harm, at all. His digestive processes-
Lynne Truss
To those who care about punctuation, a sentence such as Thank God its Friday {without the apostrophe} rouses feelings not only of despair but of violence. The confusion of the possessive its {no apostrophe} with the contractive it's {with apostrophe} is an unequivocal signal of illiteracy and sets off a Pavlovian kill response in the average stickler.
Dick Francis
I waved back and went in, and began to sort my way through ancient building plans that had been rolled up so long that straightening them out was like six bouts with an octopus.
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Taffy. He thinks about taffy. He thinks it would take his teeth out now, but he would eat it anyhow, if it meant eating it with her.
by Mitch Albom
All our human endeavours are like that, she reflected, and it is only because we are too ignorant to realize it, or are too forgetful to remember it, that we have the confidence to build something that is meant to last.
by Alexander McCall Smith
In fact, none of us knows how he ever managed to get his LLB in the first place. Maybe they're putting law degrees in cornflakes boxes these days.
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The value of money is subjective, depending on age. At the age of one, one multiplies the actual sum by 145,000, making one pound seem like 145,000 pounds to a one-year-old. At seven – Bertie's age – the multiplier is 24, so that five pounds seems like 120 pounds. At the age of twenty four, five pounds is five pounds; at forty five it is divided by 5, so that it seems like one pound and one pound seems like twenty pence. {All figures courtesy of Scottish Government Advice Leaflet: Handling your Money.}
by Alexander McCall Smith
Look, if you say that science will eventually prove there is no God, on that I must differ. No matter how small they take it back, to a tadpole, to an atom, there is always something they can't explain, something that created it all at the end of the search. And no matter how far they try to go the other way – to extend life, play around with the genes, clone this, clone that, live to one hundred and fifty – at some point, life is over. And then what happens? When the life comes to an end? I shrugged. You see? He leaned back. He smiled. When you come to the end, that's where God begins.
by Mitch Albom
Small towns are like metronomes; with the slightest flick, the beat changes.
by Mitch Albom
You say you should have died instead of me. But during my time on earth, people died instead of me, too. It happens every day. When lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. When your colleague falls ill and you do not. We think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of a whole.
by Mitch Albom
we get so many lives between birth and death. A life to be a child. A life to come of age. A life to wander, to settle, to fall in love, to parent, to test our promise, to realize our mortality-and, in some lucky cases, to do something after that realization.
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Where there's bluster, thinks Luisa, there's duplicity
by David Mitchell
But an ink brush, she thinks, is a skeleton key for a prisoner's mind.
by David Mitchell
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