I pressed PLAY and started up Chiron's favorite--the All-Time Greatest Hits of Dean Martin. Suddenly the air was filled with violins and a bunch of guys moaning in Italian. The demon pigeons went...

Piper: it looks like we have hole. Percy: Yeah we've got a dam hole! {LOL-ing} Piper: What! Percy: Inside joke. {still LOL-ing} Piper: Whatever.

Percy yelled. What's going- Gah! Shrimpzilla!

Armed with my sword and wand, I was all set for a stroll through the swamp to look for a hungry monster. Oh, joy!

That's great. Except for the fact that it's completely unimportant.

And the seventh hero…Leo Valdez?...

Had I ever been so terrified? Perhaps when Typhon raged across the earth, scattering the gods before him. Perhaps when Gaea unleashed her giants to tear down Olympus. Or perhaps when I accidentally...

I nodded, disappointed, but then I got an idea. Hey, Grover. You want a magic item?His eyes lit up. Me?Pretty soon we'd laced the sneakers over his fake feet, and the world's first flying goat boy was...

No doubt she was thinking, Who dressed this poor girl like a traffic light?

Will put his hand on Nico's shoulder. 'Nico, we need to have another talk about your people skills.'...

I stepped forward. Call me old-fashioned, but I wanted to keep his focus on me and not Annabeth. I think it's polite for a guy to protect his girlfriend from instant incineration.

Dancing?' Annabeth asked.Thalia nodded. She cocked her ear to the music and made a face. 'Ugh. Who chose Jesse McCartney?'Grover looked hurt. 'I did.

Hang on, Sadie said. She stomped right up to the throne. Ammit growled at her, but Sadie growled back, which confused the monster into silence. What are you? she demanded. My dad? Osiris? Are you even...

Two farewell gifts," Sadie muttered, "from two gorgeous guys. I hate my life.

Ella was fluttering above him, dodging missiles and calling out advice: The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive.SMASH!Good. Yes. Tyson found its groin.

You're gonna be like Aquaman? she asked. Get the fish to fight for you?Thanks, Percy said. I haven't heard enough Aquaman jokes for one lifetime.

I can't believe how much this place has grown, Hazel muttered. The taxi driver grinned in the rearview mirror. Been a long time since you visited, miss?About seventy years, Hazel said. The driver slid...

It's a training camp, Leo realized. He looked at Aphros in awe. You train heroes, the same way Chiron does?...

Coach, Annabeth said, it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep.Besides, Percy said, you're starting to sound like Terminus.Hedge narrowed his eyes. Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause...

Everyone hates clowns," Otis said. "Even other clowns hate clowns.

Percy looked at his friends. I'm getting tired of this guy's shirt.

What? You run? Coward! Stand still and die! Percy had no intention of doing that.

Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!

Etiquette tip: If you're looking for the right time to leave a party, when the host yells, "No one leaves here alive," that's your cue.

We were just looking at maps...

I tried to think of something to say. Excuse me? Hello? Marry me? Anything would have done.

Doubtful, but it did work...Annabeth? Percy said again. You're planning something. You've got that I'm-planning-something look.I don't have an I'm-planning-something look.Yeah, you totally do. Your...

Most helmsmen would've been satisfied with a pilot's wheel or a tiller. Leo had also installed a keyboard, monitor, aviation controls from a Learjet, a dubstep soundboard, and motion-control sensors...

Akmon pulled a ratchet wrench from the tool belt and spun it like a noisemaker. Oh, very nice! I'm definitely keeping this! Thanks, Blue Bottom!Leo glanced down. His pants had slipped around his...

Felix believed that the answer to every problem involved penguins; but it wasn't fair to birds, and I was getting tired of teleporting them back home. Somewhere in Antarctica, a whole flock of...