Humor - Dual-Language Quotes That Speak to the Heart

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He opened the first letter, No "Dear Mr. Woods." It was a page full of profanities. There was something oddly refreshing about honest, to-the-point hate mail. No hypocrisy and forced politeness. Too...

If the Lord hasn't got a boyfriend lined up for me to marry, that's his business.

... zebra crossings were rather like Bosnia's "safe zones": places where, if you die, you may simply die with the knowledge that your killer was in the wrong.

If the front door is opened, Barris said, during our absence, my cassette tape recorder starts recording. It's under the couch. It has a two-hour tape. I placed three omnidirectional Sony mikes at...

I did not tell Fat this, but technically he had become a Buddha. It did not seem to me like a good idea to let him know. After all, if you are a Buddha you should be able to figure it out for...

No single thing abides; and all things are fucked up.

It was time for tea as it so often was.

Remember the Hottentots? asked James. They've become the Khoi now, which means that the Germans will have to retire that wonderful word of theirs, Hottentotenpotentatenstantenattentater, which means,...

Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers. — William Shakespeare Romeo and Juliet

What the hell was your pal Bertin demanding? he asked. Sipping syrup?
It's a cocktail he prefers when he gets, ah, overly excited.
A cocktail?
Of sorts. Lemon–lime soda, vodka, codeine in solution, and a Jolly Rancher candy.
A what?
Bertin prefers the watermelon–flavored variety.
D'Agosta shook his head. Christ. Only in Louisiana.
Actually, I understand the concoction originated in Houston. — Douglas Preston Cemetery Dance

The thing about Botox is that when you've had too much, you then have to fake reactions just to look human--and it's impossible to distinguish real fake reactions from fake fake reactions. — John Sandford Invisible Prey

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What could you do? Major Major asked himself again. What could you do with a man who looked you...

We all had to pay, but not for the crimes we were accused of. There were other scores to settle.

If I turned towards books, it was because they were the only sanctuary I knew, one I needed in order...

Hope for some means its loss for others; when the hopeless regain some hope, those in power--the...

The Red Lion was a four-ale bar with a handful of lowbrowed sons of toil who looked as though they...

if you don't understand something, you can't approximate it. You're really just guessing.

Why are they going to disappear him? I don't know. It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good...

Read me back the last line. 'Read me back the last line,' read back the corporal who could take...

Keep in mind that when we talk of a great painting we are not really talking about anything great....

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