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humor
humor - Bilingual quotes that celebrate the beauty of language, showcasing meaningful expressions in two unique perspectives.
Marian Keyes
I suppose I wanted to have my cake and eat it.But then again, what were you going to do with your cake if not eat it?Frame it?Use it as a sachet in your underwear drawer?
Marian Keyes
I'd rather eat nothing than eat a carrot.
Jane Yolen
You've got some power," Jakkin said. "One hug-and the lights go out!
Jeff Smith
That's right, kid. Never play an ace if a two will do.
J.D. Robb
Reach down inside yourself, Peabody, and get a grip on reality, however slippery.
J.D. Robb
No way that was a act. She really is that gullible. She really is dumb as a sack of moondust.Yet very sweet.Eve rolled her eyes toward him. I think you have to have a penis to get that impression.
J.D. Robb
How does hanky-panky translate to sex? Who comes up with words like that?" "Probably people who don't have sex
J.D. Robb
Two different primaries, she continued, striding around the office. Two different cops, and both of them fucked up the case. What are they using to train them in Chicago -- old videos of the Three Boobs? I think that's Stooges, Roarke remarked. What? He glanced up, focused fully on her, and smiled at the absolute baffled fury on her face. Stooges, darling. The Three Stooges. What's the difference, they're still incompetent knot-heads.
J.D. Robb
He coordinated his socks and underwear, she commented when Peabody came back in. Colors and patterns. Who does that, and why? I read this article about how what you wear under your clothes is all about what makes you feel empowered and in control. It's the Under You. If wearing matching boxers and socks make you feel empowered, you're a weenie.
J.D. Robb
I keep thinking, well, this'll settle down. It's bound to level off and settle down. But it doesn't. Even when things are just going smooth and we're just....living, I can look at you, and I've got no breath left.Every minute with you, I'm alive. I never knew before there were pieces of me unborn, just waiting for you. I'm alive with you, EveShe sighted, touched his cheek. We'd better get out of here. We're getting mush all over the pool.
J.D. Robb
Eyes on hers, he flicked her shoulder. Her mouth fell open.She started stomping the floor.What in God's name are you doing? he demanded.Trying to kill the giant tarantula, because the only reason I can figure you just fucking flicked me is because there was a big, fat spider on my shoulder.
J.D. Robb
It's a fucking pharmaceutical conspiracy, Eve. We've wiped out just about every known plague, disease, and infection. Oh, we come up with a new one every now and again, to give the researchers something to do. But none of these bright-eyed medical types, none of the medi-computers can figure out how to cure the common fucking cold. You know why?Even couldn't stop the smile. She waited patiently until Mavis finished another bout of explosive sneezing. Why?Because the pharmaceutical companies need to sell drugs. You know what a damn sinus tab costs? You can get anticancer injections cheaper. I swear it.
J.D. Robb
Where's the hooch-for Dickhead?Fourth-floor gift room.She stared at him for ten silent seconds. We have a gift room?On a half laugh, he shook his head. One day, darling Eve, you really should go through the entire house. East wing, fourth-floor tower.Okay. Since she wasn't completely sure where that was, she walked to the elevator.
J.D. Robb
After they left the office, Peabody shoved her hands in her pockets. These nicknames are pissing me off.But you're not I'm-Too-Good-to-Pee-Body. Harris is.It's damn name. And now I have to pee. It's like my bladder has to prove something.Pee at the bank. Consider it a deposit.
J.D. Robb
Three weeks hadn't changed Cop Central. The coffee was still poisonous, the noise abominable, and the view out of her stingy window was still miserable.She was thrilled to be back.
J.D. Robb
When she brought Mira up, Eve gave Roarke another glance. Don't talk to him, she warned. He can get bitchy when he's in this deep. I don't know if we have any of that tea stuff.I had it stocked, and I don't get bitchy. Bloody, buggering HELL.Eve just rolled her eyes and got the tea.
J.D. Robb
Eve, did you marry me for my money?You bet your ass. And you'd better hold on to it, or I'm historyIt's very sweet of you to say so.
J.D. Robb
Okay. Look, why don't you take care of the half a million things you've been letting dangle in Roarke's Empire of Everything?""Catchy title. I may use it one day.
David Rakoff
The logic underlying the truism that one should always travel on a plane with a book is also precisely why bed-and-breakfast culture is to be avoided if at all possible. Namely, you might have to talk to someone.
John Scalzi
The Scooby gang doesn't travel because they are looking for crimes to solve. They travel because they're one step ahead of the deprogrammers. Somehow, Fred's got them all snookered. It probably has something to do with the Scooby Snacks.
Rodman Philbrick
You can take him, right? he asks a couple minutes later
Rodman Philbrick
Bean finds the best apple in our tree and hands it up to me. You know what this tastes like when you first bite into it? she asks. No, what? Blue sky. You're zoomed. You ever eat blue sky?No, I admit. Try it sometime, she says. It's apple-flavored.
Rick Riordan
Just don't ask me to deliver any more satyr babies and we'll get along great.
Rick Riordan
Meg looked at me with something resembling respect. What did you do to them?Nothing, I said. Half the trick to being a god is knowing how to bluff.
Rick Riordan
I pressed PLAY and started up Chiron's favorite--the All-Time Greatest Hits of Dean Martin. Suddenly the air was filled with violins and a bunch of guys moaning in Italian. The demon pigeons went nuts. They started flying in circles, running into each other like they wanted to bash their own brains out.
Rick Riordan
Piper: it looks like we have hole. Percy: Yeah we've got a dam hole! {LOL-ing} Piper: What! Percy: Inside joke. {still LOL-ing} Piper: Whatever.
Rick Riordan
Percy yelled. What's going- Gah! Shrimpzilla!
Rick Riordan
Armed with my sword and wand, I was all set for a stroll through the swamp to look for a hungry monster. Oh, joy!
Rick Riordan
That's great. Except for the fact that it's completely unimportant.
Rick Riordan
And the seventh hero…Leo Valdez? Nico raised his eyebrows. You remember his name? Of course! He invented the Valdezinator. Oh, what a musical instrument! I barely had time to master its major scales before Zeus zapped me at the Parthenon. If anyone could help me, it would be Leo Valdez.
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Popular quotes
Taffy. He thinks about taffy. He thinks it would take his teeth out now, but he would eat it anyhow, if it meant eating it with her.
by Mitch Albom
All our human endeavours are like that, she reflected, and it is only because we are too ignorant to realize it, or are too forgetful to remember it, that we have the confidence to build something that is meant to last.
by Alexander McCall Smith
In fact, none of us knows how he ever managed to get his LLB in the first place. Maybe they're putting law degrees in cornflakes boxes these days.
by Alexander McCall Smith
The value of money is subjective, depending on age. At the age of one, one multiplies the actual sum by 145,000, making one pound seem like 145,000 pounds to a one-year-old. At seven – Bertie's age – the multiplier is 24, so that five pounds seems like 120 pounds. At the age of twenty four, five pounds is five pounds; at forty five it is divided by 5, so that it seems like one pound and one pound seems like twenty pence. {All figures courtesy of Scottish Government Advice Leaflet: Handling your Money.}
by Alexander McCall Smith
Look, if you say that science will eventually prove there is no God, on that I must differ. No matter how small they take it back, to a tadpole, to an atom, there is always something they can't explain, something that created it all at the end of the search. And no matter how far they try to go the other way – to extend life, play around with the genes, clone this, clone that, live to one hundred and fifty – at some point, life is over. And then what happens? When the life comes to an end? I shrugged. You see? He leaned back. He smiled. When you come to the end, that's where God begins.
by Mitch Albom
Small towns are like metronomes; with the slightest flick, the beat changes.
by Mitch Albom
You say you should have died instead of me. But during my time on earth, people died instead of me, too. It happens every day. When lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. When your colleague falls ill and you do not. We think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of a whole.
by Mitch Albom
we get so many lives between birth and death. A life to be a child. A life to come of age. A life to wander, to settle, to fall in love, to parent, to test our promise, to realize our mortality-and, in some lucky cases, to do something after that realization.
by Mitch Albom
Where there's bluster, thinks Luisa, there's duplicity
by David Mitchell
But an ink brush, she thinks, is a skeleton key for a prisoner's mind.
by David Mitchell
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