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humour
humour - Bilingual quotes that celebrate the beauty of language, showcasing meaningful expressions in two unique perspectives.
Louis de Bernières
Psipsina emerged from inside the tunic, and jumped up on the table in order to curl up inside the cap, which had been her favourite resting place ever since she discovered the joys of contortionism; she filled it and overflowed from it in such a tangle and jumble of whiskers, ears, tail and paws that it was impossible to tell which part of her was which, and she slept in it because it reminded her of gifts of salami and chicken skins.
Paul Beatty
At the zoo, I stood in front of the primate cage listening to a woman marvel at how presidential the four-hundred-pound gorilla looked sitting astride a shorn oaken limb, keeping a watchful eye over his caged brood. When her boyfriend, his finger tapping the informational placard, pointed out the presidential silverback's name coincidentally was Baraka, the woman laughed aloud, until she saw me, the other four-hundred-pound gorilla in the room, stuffing something that might have been the last of a Big Stick Popsicle or a Chiquita banana in my mouth.
Nick Hornby
It struck him that how you spent Christmas was a message to the world about where you were in life, some indication of how deep a hole you had managed to burrow for yourself
Robert Jordan
A man who trusts everyone is a fool and a man who trusts no one is a fool. We are all fools if we live long enough.
Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
I swear to hold my tongue about it till the end of your worship's days, and God grant I may be able to let it out tomorrow
Margaret Atwood
We offered her flowers and signalled to her with our penises, but she did not respond with joy.''The men with the extra skins didn't look happy. They looked angry.''We went towards them to greet them, but they ran away.'Snowman can imagine. The sight of these preternaturally calm, well-muscled men advancing en masse, singing their unusual music, green eyes glowing, blue penises waving in unison, both hands outstretched like extras in a zombie film, would have to have been alarming.
Margaret Atwood
I already told you, said Adam. There is no need to swear.Sorry, it just fucking slipped out, said Zeb.
Margaret Atwood
I always thought eating was a ridiculous activity anyway. I'd get out of it myself if I could, though you've got to do it to stay alive, they tell me.
Marian Keyes
I click to buy it and I'm furious to discover that it's not available in Ireland and they won't post it from abroad and the only place that sells it is Harrods and it's impossible for me to go to Harrods because it's like being trapped in an Escher painting.
Marian Keyes
Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.
Jeff Smith
Please, comrade! I just want to chop him up for the stew!''And that's another thing! I'm tired of stew! I want to put him in a crust and bake a light fluffy quiche!''QUICHE?! What kind of food is THAT for a monster to eat?!
J.D. Robb
Peabody pursed her lips. You're really mean today. Yes. Yes, I am. Eve took a deep gulp of hideous air, and smiled. I feel good about that.
J.D. Robb
Well, stop it or . . . Crap, is that Drunk Santa currently mooning passing traffic?Wow, that's some ugly ass he's got there. It is Drunk Santa. Oh, please, do we have to stop? Think of the smell. Fear it.We can't leave that ugly ass hanging out on Ninth Avenue. Resigned, Eve started to pull over, then spotted two hustling beat cops. Pitying them, she kept going.It's a Christmas miracle, Peabody said, reverently.
J.D. Robb
She didn't want the medi-techs. She wanted a fucking a candy bar.
J.D. Robb
Can I borrow fifty bucks?What?I'm short until payday.You're short every day.
J.D. Robb
She didn't want the medi-techs. She wanted a fucking candy bar. {...} She reached down {...} and chose a Galaxy bar {...} I'm going home. You didn't pay for that, Francois shouted after her. Fuck you, Frank, she shouted back and kept going.
J.D. Robb
I'm going to see if Morris has a spare spine lying around you can borrow if you're scared to speak to that high-heeled, smug-ass bitch, Peabody.
rick riordan the mark of athena
The Romans always wanted bread and circuses-food and entertainement! As we destroy their city, I will offer them both. Behold, a sample!Someething dropped from the ceiling and landed at Percy's feet: a loaf of sandwich bread in a white plastic wrapper with red and yellow dots
Rick Riordan
Not that my regularly scheduled life was so great, but it beat getting judged unworthy by twelve bearded guys named Erik.
Rick Riordan
Even from far away, I could see people being chased by hellhounds, burned at the stake, forced to run naked through cactus patches or listen to opera music.
Rick Riordan
Grover and Nico came back from their walk, and Grover helped me fix up my wounded arm."It's green!" Nico said with delight.
Rick Riordan
My dad gave me a present once,' Nico said. 'It was a zombie.' Reyna stared at him. 'What?' 'His name is Jules-Albert. He's French.''A... French zombie?
Rick Riordan
The the glow become brighter: a holographic golden sickle with a few sheaves of wheat, rotating just above Meg McCaffrey.A boy in the crowd gasped. 'She's a communist!'A girl who'd been sitting at Cabin Four's table gave him a disgusted sneer. 'No, Damien, that's my mom's symbol.
Rick Riordan
Now-what's our game plan?Coach Hedge belched. He'd already had three espressos and a plate of doughnuts, along with two napkins and another flower from the vase on the table. He would've eaten the silverware, except Piper had slapped his hand.Climb the mountain, Hedge said. Kill everything except Piper's dad. Leave.Thank you General Eisenhower, Jason grumbles.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
You can come after me or you can get the one thing you've always wanted.What? A tattoo of your face on my ass?
Jennifer L. Armentrout
Is this what you do with your spare time? he asked me, ignoring his sister.What-are you deciding to talk to me now? Smiling tightly, I grabbed a handful of mulch and dumped it. Rinse and repeat. Yeah, it's kind of a hobby. What's yours? Kicking puppies?
Lynne Truss
If you still persist in writing, "Good food at it's best", you deserve to be struck by lightning, hacked up on the spot and buried in an unmarked grave.
Scott Adams
Lately...the Peter Principle has given way to the "Dilbert Principle." The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.
Scott Adams
Idiocy in the modern age isn't an all-encompassing, twenty-four-hour situation for most people. It's a condition that everybody slips into many times a day. Life is just too complicated to be smart all the time.
Joseph Heller
He wondered often how he would ever recognize the first chill, flush, twinge, ache, belch, sneeze, stain, lethargy, vocal slip, loss of balance or lapse of memory that would signal the inevitable beginning of the inevitable end.
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Popular quotes
Taffy. He thinks about taffy. He thinks it would take his teeth out now, but he would eat it anyhow, if it meant eating it with her.
by Mitch Albom
All our human endeavours are like that, she reflected, and it is only because we are too ignorant to realize it, or are too forgetful to remember it, that we have the confidence to build something that is meant to last.
by Alexander McCall Smith
The value of money is subjective, depending on age. At the age of one, one multiplies the actual sum by 145,000, making one pound seem like 145,000 pounds to a one-year-old. At seven – Bertie's age – the multiplier is 24, so that five pounds seems like 120 pounds. At the age of twenty four, five pounds is five pounds; at forty five it is divided by 5, so that it seems like one pound and one pound seems like twenty pence. {All figures courtesy of Scottish Government Advice Leaflet: Handling your Money.}
by Alexander McCall Smith
In fact, none of us knows how he ever managed to get his LLB in the first place. Maybe they're putting law degrees in cornflakes boxes these days.
by Alexander McCall Smith
Look, if you say that science will eventually prove there is no God, on that I must differ. No matter how small they take it back, to a tadpole, to an atom, there is always something they can't explain, something that created it all at the end of the search. And no matter how far they try to go the other way – to extend life, play around with the genes, clone this, clone that, live to one hundred and fifty – at some point, life is over. And then what happens? When the life comes to an end? I shrugged. You see? He leaned back. He smiled. When you come to the end, that's where God begins.
by Mitch Albom
Small towns are like metronomes; with the slightest flick, the beat changes.
by Mitch Albom
You say you should have died instead of me. But during my time on earth, people died instead of me, too. It happens every day. When lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. When your colleague falls ill and you do not. We think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of a whole.
by Mitch Albom
we get so many lives between birth and death. A life to be a child. A life to come of age. A life to wander, to settle, to fall in love, to parent, to test our promise, to realize our mortality-and, in some lucky cases, to do something after that realization.
by Mitch Albom
But an ink brush, she thinks, is a skeleton key for a prisoner's mind.
by David Mitchell
Where there's bluster, thinks Luisa, there's duplicity
by David Mitchell
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