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Home Page » Categories » Irony

My wife sent her photograph to the lonely hearts club. They sent it back, said they weren't that lonely.

Les Dawson
My wife sent her photograph to the lonely hearts club. They sent it back, said they weren't that lonely.

This fucking city is full of nothing but thugs, money grubbing porn-bitches, and hustlers. I'm calling the police." Ex fumed as he struggled to pull his cell from his pocket. If Syn weren't so damn...

A.E. Via
This fucking city is full of nothing but thugs, money grubbing porn-bitches, and hustlers. I'm calling the police." Ex fumed as he struggled to pull his cell from his pocket. If Syn weren't so damn angry it would've been funny as shit the way the man's jaw dropped when God and Day both pulled their gold badges out from under their shirts. Day smiled that sinister grin and kneeled in front of them, speaking in an official tone, "911, what is your emergency?"

Sometimes, you're the one who strikes it lucky. Sometimes, it's the other poor bastard who's left with the short straw, and you just have to shut up and get on with it.

M.L. Stedman The Light...
Sometimes, you're the one who strikes it lucky. Sometimes, it's the other poor bastard who's left with the short straw, and you just have to shut up and get on with it.

"We piled aboard the small chopper and after a bit of map pointing to the pilot we lifted off. "I love the RAF," said Jed."I love them too, sir," said I. After a short flight the chopper landed. We...

Ken Lukowiak A Soldiers Song:...
"We piled aboard the small chopper and after a bit of map pointing to the pilot we lifted off. "I love the RAF," said Jed."I love them too, sir," said I. After a short flight the chopper landed. We all got out and waved our thanks and farewells to the crew and Major Jenner checked his map. After a quick examination he announced that we had been dropped in the wrong place."I fucking hate the RAF," said Jed."I fucking hate them too, sir," said I."

Her latest client is Professor Desmond Curnin, a university professor who teaches library sciences to large groups of students. He's quick to pay on-time, quick to never fall behind. He's a...

Rebecca McNutt Listen is...
Her latest client is Professor Desmond Curnin, a university professor who teaches library sciences to large groups of students. He's quick to pay on-time, quick to never fall behind. He's a brown-haired man with an unkempt beard and thick-framed hipster glasses. He slides a leather briefcase stuffed with dollar bills into the open window of Geraldine's car. Your fly's unzipped, Geraldine points out, disgusted. Who gave you a license to sell hot dogs, buddy?

It's like a government agency that really works.

Peter Kreeft Angels and...
It's like a government agency that really works.

On reflection, though, it struck her as dishonest, like serving people ice cream on their first night at the fat farm. Hey, have some more hot fudge! You're gonna love it here at Camp Lose - a - Lot!

Tom Perrotta The Leftovers
On reflection, though, it struck her as dishonest, like serving people ice cream on their first night at the fat farm. Hey, have some more hot fudge! You're gonna love it here at Camp Lose - a - Lot!

And if a diversion is needed, why not arrest a general? Arthur Dillon is a friend of eminent deputies, a contender for the post of Commander-in-Chief of the Northern Front; he has proved himself at...

Hilary Mantel A Place of...

I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful.

Mindy Kaling Is Everyone...

The Lethean Library, for all its incalculable volumes, is, I know, sadly incomplete without Mr. Goodman's effort.

Vladimir Nabokov The real life of...

O young girl, throw yourself again into the water so that I might have a second time the chance to save the two of us! A second time, eh, what imprudence! Suppose, dear sir, someone actually took our...

Albert Camus The Fall
O young girl, throw yourself again into the water so that I might have a second time the chance to save the two of us! A second time, eh, what imprudence! Suppose, dear sir, someone actually took our word for it? It would have to be fulfilled. Brr...! the water is so cold! But let's reassure ourselves. It's too late now, it will always be too late. Fortunately!

Spiders and sowbugs and beetles and crickets, Slugs from the roses and ticks from the thickets, Grasshoppers, snails, and a quail's egg or two- All to be regurgitated for you....

Peter S. Beagle The Last Unicorn

I'm being ironic. Don't interrupt a man in the midst of being ironic, it's not polite. There!

Ray Bradbury The Martian...

When Maimonides says that the Messiah will come but that 'he may tarry,' we see the origin of every Jewish shrug from Spinoza to Woody Allen.

Christopher Hitchens Letters to a...

He led them around the base of a great fallen tree whose exposed roots resembled more than anything else a huge broom - a broom that would have fired the imagination of Rachel the Dragon toward...

Tad Williams The Dragonbone...

That was his mother. When she wasn't crying over the breakfast cereal, she was laughing about killing herself.

Nick Hornby About a Boy

It is a tragicomic fact that our proper upbringing has become an ally of the secret police. {...} The "Tell the truth!" imperative drummed into us so automatically that we feel ashamed of lying even...

Milan Kundera The Unbearable...

We've known for a long time that it was no longer possible to overturn this world, nor reshape it, nor head off its dangerous headlong rush. There's been only one possible resistance: to not take it...

Milan Kundera The Festival of...

But you see, a rich country like America can perhaps afford to be stupid.

Barack Obama Dreams from My...

I come by my alarmism honestly. I have learned this custom over the years as I have settled into being a true New Yorker. This is how we welcome foreigners to our shores. Because we are so often...

David Rakoff Fraud: Essays

...You know, one good apple can spoil the rest, Colonel Korn concluded with conscious irony.

Joseph Heller Catch-22

It is sometimes easier to be happy if you don't know everything.

Alexander McCall Smith Morality for...
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Today Birthdays

1943 - Joyce Meyer 1937 - Robert Fulghum 1975 - Angelina Jolie 1945 - Anthony Braxton 1981 - T. J. Miller 1952 - Parker Stevenson 1970 - Izabella Scorupco 1985 - Bar Refaeli
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