Even the best-conducted women {...} have an aversion for the impotent, {...} so one should conceal one's wounds and hide the crippling deficiencies of life – poverty, misfortune, sickness, ill-success. People begin by being touched and moved to tenderness by their friends' distress; presently this changes to pity, which has something humiliating about it; then to a masterful giving of advice; and then to scorn.
by Patrick O'Brian
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The quote suggests that even the most virtuous and well-mannered women have a natural dislike for those who are seen as lacking vitality or capability, particularly in terms of potency. This indicates that society tends to favor those who appear strong and successful while pushing the weak and disadvantaged into the shadows. Therefore, one must learn to hide their personal struggles, such as poverty, illness, or failure, to avoid being judged or scorned by others.

The transition from compassion to pity is a common human experience, where initial empathy can morph into a sense of superiority and disdain. What begins as kindness can transform into a desire to give unsolicited advice, which often conveys condescension, and ultimately leads to mocking those who are struggling. The quote encapsulates a harsh reality about social relationships and the stigma that surrounds vulnerability and misfortune.

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January 31, 2025

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