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humor
humor - Bilingual quotes that celebrate the beauty of language, showcasing meaningful expressions in two unique perspectives.
Kelley Armstrong
That's trouble. The pixies will sour your milk." "I thought it was hobgoblins who soured milk." "A dirty lie. Spread by the pixies, no doubt.
Kelley Armstrong
Sex, a switchblade, and motorcycle lessons. You really are making sure my night ends on a high note.
Kelley Armstrong
A knock came at the door. Everyone looked up. Elena's nostrils flared and she leaned over to whisper something to Clay. Fuck, he muttered. Keep talking, Jaime. It's only Cassandra. She can wait. Forever, if we're lucky. I heard that, Clayton, Cassandra said as she walked in. Who the hell forgot to lock the door? Clay said. You were the last one in, Elena murmured. Damn.
Kelley Armstrong
Tori joined us for dinner --in body, at least. She spent the meal practicing for a role in the next zombie movie, expressionless, methodically moving fork to mouth, sometimes even with food on it.
Kelley Armstrong
Cleavage is great," she said. "Like an extra pocket.
Kelley Armstrong
Go out and ask her into the alley." Clay looked at Jeremy as if he'd just been told to dance the rumba on a public thoroughfare. I bit back a laugh. "Just walk over to her and point at the alley. Maybe say…I don't know…something like 'fifty bucks.' " I looked at Jeremy. "Does that sound right? Fifty?" His brows shot up. "Why are you asking me?" "I wasn't-I just meant, as a general…" I threw up my hands. "How am I supposed to know how much a hooker costs?
Kelley Armstrong
I just... I understand you might want to start dating more seriously, and that means dating someone from town. But if you're going to do that..." This time he took a long drink of coffee, and the mug was still at his lips when he said, "I like Daniel. He takes care of you."I blinked. "Oh my God. Did you really just say that? He takes of me?"Dad flushed. "I didn't mean it like-""Takes of me? Did I go to sleep and wake up in the nineteenth century?" I looked down at my jeans and T-shirt. "Ack! I can't go to school like this. Where's my corset? My bonnet?
Kelley Armstrong
I moved up beside Jamie."I have to go."She frowned at me. "Where?"I pressed a hand to the bottom of my belly. "My bladder.It-"Ah." She gave a small laugh. "We interrupt this life-or-death situation for a pregnancy pee break. Don't see that in the movies, do you?
Kelley Armstrong
We scarified a mosquito. I bet that's what did it. It was probably a virgin too.
Kelley Armstrong
I let out a laugh that sounded more like the yip of a startled poodle. "Superp-powers? I wish. My powers aren't winning me a slot on the Cartoon Network anytime soon... except as a comic relief. Ghost Whisperer Junior. Or Ghost Screamer, more like it. Tune in, every week, as Chloe Saunders runs screaming from yet another ghost looking for her help."Okay, superpower might be pushing it.
Kelley Armstrong
Another werewolf thing. Like most animals, we spent a large part of our lives engaged in the three Fs of basic survival. Feeding, fighting and... reproduction.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
Nick: How? Are you a vampire or something? What made you immortal?Acheron: Real good DNA.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
If you want to know the Correct term for me, I'm a Dark-Hunter."Nick digested that word slowly. "Which means what? You hunt darkness?""Yes, Nick. That's exactly what I do. There's just not enough of it." Now, there was some sarcasm you could cut with a knife."
Sherrilyn Kenyon
Ash paused as he entered the house to find the three women lined up and... singing to... dear gods, anything but this."Fergilicious."All he needed was for Simi to be here and off-key with them since it was her favorite song and he'd spent the better part of the last year cursing whoever was dumb enough to introduce that song to a hormonal teenaged demon. Worst part? Simi wanted him to call her Similicious.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
Sunshine, I... Starla's voice broke off as she entered the room and caught sight of him standing naked in the corner. She eyed him in an odd, detached way, as if he were an interesting piece of furniture.Talon and modesty were strangers, but the way she stared at him made him damned uncomfortable. In spite of the sunlight, Talon grabbed the pink blanket off the bed and clutched it to his middle.You know, Sunshine, you need to find a man like that to marry. Someone so well hung that even after three or four kids, he'd still be wall to wall.Talon gaped.Sunshine laughed. Starla, you're embarrassing him.
Anne Rice
A singer can shatter glass with the proper high note," he said, "but the simplest way to break glass is simply to drop it on the floor.
Carol Shields
Here's to another year and let's hope it's above ground.
Joyce Carol Oates
The gym cat appears to those who will die. He is our totem. This thought came to me a few weeks ago. I shared it with no one of course.
John Irving
Wizened and white, with brown blotched on her face the size and complexity of unshelled peanuts, Midge had a jitter in her head that made her pew like a chicken trying to make up its mind what to peck.
Sylvia Plath
There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.
Tim Dorsey
But you have to understand, mental illness is like cholesterol. There is is good kind and the bad. Without the good kind- less flavor to life. Van Gogh, Beethoven, Edgar Allen Poe, Sylvia Plath, Pink Floyd {the early Piper at the Gates of Dawn line up}, scientific breakthroughs, spiritual revolution, utopian visions, zany nationalism that kills millions- wait, that's the bad kind. Tim Dorsey {Hurricane Punch}
Peter S. Beagle
I'll tell you something. Once I was very fond of a poem by Emily Dickinson or somebody. I only remember one line of it, but it goes, 'The soul selects her own society.' I used to tell it to everybody. Once I quoted it to a friend of mine, and he said, 'Maybe, but the body gets thrown into bed with the goddamnedest people.
Tobias Wolff
We even talked like Hemingway characters, though in travesty, as if to deny our discipleship: That is your bed, and it is a good bed, and you must make it and you must make it well. Or: Today is the day of the meatloaf. The meatloaf is swell. It is swell but when it is gone the not-having meatloaf will be tragic and the meatloaf man will not come anymore.
George Eliot
When he turned his head quickly his hair seemed to shake out light, and some persons thought they saw decided genius in this coruscation. Mr. Casaubon, on the contrary, stood rayless.
George Eliot
Society never made the preposterous demand that a man should think as much about his own qualifications for making a charming girl happy as he thinks of hers for making himself happy. As if a man could choose not only his wife but his wife's husband!
Sinclair Lewis
It is one of the major tragedies that nothing is more discomforting than the hearty affection of the Old Friends who never were friends.
Sinclair Lewis
The Maker of the universe with stars a hundred thousand light-years apart was interested, furious, and very personal about it if a small boy played baseball on Sunday afternoon.
Georgette Heyer
I never indulge commonplace thoughts," said Sir Vincent... "Not, at all events,in relation to the Grand Sophy.
Georgette Heyer
Sir, do you know how they were used to fill balloons, and how they now do it?No, said Alverstoke. I've no doubt, however, that I soon shall.He was right. From then on Felix, who had acquired a tattered copy of the History and Practice of Aerostation, maintained a flow of conversation, largely informative, but interspersed with eager questions.
Ken Kesey
Billy here has been talkin' about slicin' his wrists again, so is there seven of you guys who'd like to join him and make it therapeutic?
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Taffy. He thinks about taffy. He thinks it would take his teeth out now, but he would eat it anyhow, if it meant eating it with her.
by Mitch Albom
All our human endeavours are like that, she reflected, and it is only because we are too ignorant to realize it, or are too forgetful to remember it, that we have the confidence to build something that is meant to last.
by Alexander McCall Smith
In fact, none of us knows how he ever managed to get his LLB in the first place. Maybe they're putting law degrees in cornflakes boxes these days.
by Alexander McCall Smith
The value of money is subjective, depending on age. At the age of one, one multiplies the actual sum by 145,000, making one pound seem like 145,000 pounds to a one-year-old. At seven – Bertie's age – the multiplier is 24, so that five pounds seems like 120 pounds. At the age of twenty four, five pounds is five pounds; at forty five it is divided by 5, so that it seems like one pound and one pound seems like twenty pence. {All figures courtesy of Scottish Government Advice Leaflet: Handling your Money.}
by Alexander McCall Smith
Look, if you say that science will eventually prove there is no God, on that I must differ. No matter how small they take it back, to a tadpole, to an atom, there is always something they can't explain, something that created it all at the end of the search. And no matter how far they try to go the other way – to extend life, play around with the genes, clone this, clone that, live to one hundred and fifty – at some point, life is over. And then what happens? When the life comes to an end? I shrugged. You see? He leaned back. He smiled. When you come to the end, that's where God begins.
by Mitch Albom
Small towns are like metronomes; with the slightest flick, the beat changes.
by Mitch Albom
You say you should have died instead of me. But during my time on earth, people died instead of me, too. It happens every day. When lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. When your colleague falls ill and you do not. We think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of a whole.
by Mitch Albom
we get so many lives between birth and death. A life to be a child. A life to come of age. A life to wander, to settle, to fall in love, to parent, to test our promise, to realize our mortality-and, in some lucky cases, to do something after that realization.
by Mitch Albom
Where there's bluster, thinks Luisa, there's duplicity
by David Mitchell
But an ink brush, she thinks, is a skeleton key for a prisoner's mind.
by David Mitchell
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