Selv om hun helt forsto argumentet til fordel for åpenhet, var det grenser i den grad man skulle snakke ærlig. Hun var ikke enig i skikken som noen ganger ble fulgt i Afrika for å unngå direkte konfrontasjon med de som man var uenig med-som førte til alle slags feil, hun visste-men man burde fortsatt være forsiktig med å unngå å skade følelser ved å utfordre andre for åpent . Ofte var det bedre å være skånsom å si noe på en slik måte at personen som kritiserte ikke følte seg for ydmyket. Det hele var et ansiktsspørsmål, bestemte hun seg: Du måtte la rom for ansikt bli frelst. Hun

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(Although she entirely understood the argument in favour of openness, there were limits to the extent to which one should speak frankly. She did not agree with the custom that was sometimes followed in Africa of avoiding direct confrontation with those with whom one disagreed-that led to all sorts of failures, she knew-but one should still be careful to avoid hurting feelings by challenging others too openly. Often it was better to be gentle-to say something in such a way that the person criticised did not feel too humiliated. It was all a question of face, she decided: you had to leave room for face to be saved. She)